Corpus Christi Blog

Fraternal Correction is an act of love

09-07-2014HomiliesFr. Chad King

Our Lord and the Church, always wanting us to grow closer to God and to each other, gives us our practical but challenging readings today.  In order to be convicted, let us open our hearts and ask the Holy Spirit to inspire us concretely in our lives.  Each of these very practical readings answer a very important question in our interaction with other people, and that question is whether we should, and if so just how to engage in fraternal correction, which is a term meaning to give constructive criticism to others. 

Before we dive into our readings, let me set the stage by saying that we must admit that we live in a society in which many people have the mentality that they are their own boss, saying 'who are you to tell me what to do, what is right’. And that many in the society, including ourselves, have the tendency to react defensively and find an excuse or justification about almost anything.  Therefore, it is often times very difficult to confront and make known to someone the error of their ways.  So society tells us- don’t do it.   But on the other hand, we must also admit that we human beings tend to like criticize others.  We like to critcize how others dress, how they talk, their political views, what people do or don't do.  And sometimes we have no problem gossiping or talking negatively about what we think about so and so.  And spiritually, if we are honest with ourselves, we know why we enjoy criticizing others so much- because by putting others down makes us feel better about ourselves.  I challenge you, as I challenged myself, to do an examination of conscience this week, each night try and recall how many people you critiqued that day.  Let me tell you, I did it for a couple of nights, it was very enlightening and humbling.  But now admitting how easy it is to criticize and how hard it is to confront others, let us look at what the bible has to say about the question of whether we should, and if so, how to engage in fraternal correction.

Our Lord very directly tells the Prophet Ezekiel that he has been appointed watchman for the house of Israel.  God says, “when you hear me say anything, you shall warn them for me.  If you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked from his way, the wicked shall die for his guilt, but I will hold you responsible for his death”. Wow, powerful words.  Let me unpack what this reading is telling us.  First of all, this reading clearly alludes to the fact that there is an objective norm for moral living, there are commandments, there is a wicked way and there is a right way of living.  And God says to the watchman, when you hear me say anything.  This means that God himself has set this moral standard of living.  It is not whatever anyone wants it to be, but that God has clearly authored a right way and a wicked way of living.  But listen again to that tender plea from God, ‘warn them for me’.  God loves and wants everyone to turn from their wicked ways.  He wants every sinner to be warned, warned that they will only be happy in living up to his standard, that they will not be happy doing whatever they want to do.  This is so important, the conversion of sinners is so close to God’s heart, that not only does God want us to warn others, but our Lord gives us the obligation, he says that we will be held responsible if we don’t try to dissuade others in their wicked ways.  I know that there are some people, and some may be well-intentioned people, but still some looking for an excuse, saying ‘but God tells us that we can’t judge anybody else’.  Let me be clear- we cannot not judge another’s interior heart, but we can and we must say that their external action is wrong.  We cannot not judge why they committed that act, but we are called to look at the act itself and explain why that action is wrong and harmful.  Someone might have a good reason, they might have a right intention, but if the action is wrong- it is wrong, period.  So for example, even if they might have a good reason to steal that money, the act of stealing is still wrong- and by calling them out we are not judging them on their intention but only explaining why the action of stealing is wrong.  My friends, like the Prophet Ezekiel, we are all watchmen.  We are our brothers and sisters’ keeper, we are commanded to speak out.  By virtue of our baptism, we are anointed priest, prophet, and king; from our baptism we are commanded not only to live moral lives, but that we are watchmen, we have the duty to engage in fraternal correction of others, and our Lord clearly states that we will be held responsible if we don’t.  So now that we are convicted that we must engage in fraternal correction, let us look at how we should.

Our 2nd reading commands us to love one another, that love is the fulfillment of the law.  Love is a word thrown around a lot and many are confused with what it means to love.  Love is not a feeling, not an emotion.  Love is a decision, it is an act of the will.  A good definition is this: love is willing the good of the other, and doing something about it.  Now let us see just what it looks like to love those who have wronged us by looking at how Jesus advises us to lovingly engage others in fraternal correction.

Our practical Gospel tells us, “if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone”.  Think about that, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.  If we were to follow our Lord’s advice then we would not go and tell everyone else, but that person, would we?  I know this is uncomfortable to do, it is hard to confront others who have wronged us, but think about it- gossiping and venting, complaining about others behind their back does absolutely no good, does it?  It does nothing to help the person; it gains sympathy and strokes our ego’s- but nothing good comes from it- and therefore it is not loving.  However, going to the person directly is productive, it brings it in the open, maybe that person was unaware how they hurt you, but it makes them aware.  And at least shows that you care enough about your relationship to do something about it, and now your action has a chance to be productive.

But if going directly to that person doesn’t work, what then?  Then can we complain and tell everyone we know that so and so hurt us?  Of course not, Jesus very prudently persuades us to tell one or two others, ideally people who that person knows and respects, to kind of have an intervention.  So together, out of love for them say, we are concerned about this road you are going down…

Jesus says if he or she even refuses to listen to them, then tell the Church.  Now Jesus doesn’t mean everyone to come up here to the Ambo and tell everyone in this large Church.  Keep in mind, that at this time the Churches were small communities of believers who met together in homes.  So today, we can think of telling the Church as telling the Pastor and maybe a few other important people.

And if that still doesn’t work- then Jesus says to treat them as a Gentile or tax collector.  Finally now we have permission to lash out and ignore them forever, right?  No, how did Jesus treat Gentiles and tax collectors?  He loved them, he reached out to them, he sought them out, he initiated and continued in dialogue with them and called them to repentance.  Jesus then says the famous line that where 2 or 3 are gathered together in his name, he is there.  What that means in this context of fraternal correction is to not give up on them, not ignore them, but together to pray for them.  We should be praying for the conversion of every sinner. 

Therefore, my brothers and sisters, we are told that we must engage in the fraternal correction of those who hurt us, we must lovingly reach out to and be in dialogue with evil doers, we must love them.  So whenever you are tempted to criticize someone- criticize them in love.  Meaning only criticize them to the degree you are willing to help the person.  If you aren’t willing to help, don’t say anything and at the very least pray for them.  But to really love them is to do more than pray for them, but it is to humbly being in dialogue with them and showing them where their happiness is found.

Such convicting and challenging words- now the question is will we reflect on and apply them in our own lives?

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