We often hear that we are to hate the sin and love the sinner. There are countless examples in the gospels where Jesus shows compassion and love to sinners while also pointing out their sins and urging them to repent. He loves people, but also promotes conversion and transformation by inviting them to follow him instead of their worldly desires. However, the phrase “hate the sin and love the sinner” has taken on a new and incorrect meaning in our modern world of: “Who are we to judge?” Because of this, it is becoming increasingly difficult to know how to talk to people about particular issues, often resulting in individuals keeping quiet to keep the peace. For this week’s reflection, I will be referencing Chapter 7 from a book entitled, 12 Life Lessons from St. Thomas Aquinas, in which author Kevin Vost, PSY.D., uses the writings of the great saint to explain why we are called to judge sin and how to do it in a way that is proper to loving the sinner called, “fraternal correction.”
Vost lays the foundation for judging sin in the natural moral law (you can find the article, “The Natural Law According to St. Thomas Aquinas” on my website). Throughout human history, certain behaviors and actions have been deemed morally wrong across time, culture, and religion. It is human nature to have shared goals for the common good, so those goals require accepted codes of conduct. For example, societies across time and space generally agree that murder is wrong. Yes, issues like abortion, the death penalty, euthanasia, and even human sacrifice have clouded the conversation. However, there is still a general consensus that killing people does not help the human race to move forward, and societies have fundamentally reflected that truth. So, the very foundation for hating sin and loving the sinner is rooted in our human hearts, first and foremost, before we even look at it through the lens of our religion. Vost likens this concept to having a loved one addicted to a hard drug like heroin and inflicting tremendous damage on others through the person’s addiction. He says, "Now does it not make the greatest sense to hate the drug abusing behavior precisely because we love the person who has become addicted…?” In other words, this concept is not reduced to religious imposition because even an atheist can love a person, or humanity as a whole, while hating what he knows or perceives to be immoral.
St. Thomas also states that it is, in fact, an act of love for others to help them correct what they do wrong:
To correct the wrongdoer is a spiritual almsdeed. But almsdeeds are works of charity… Therefore, fraternal correction is an act of charity… The correction of the wrongdoer is a remedy which should be employed against a man’s sin. -Summa Theologica II-II, 33, 1
When people are persisting in sin, they are harming their souls, which, in turn, threatens their eternal lives. So, it is then the greatest act of love to correct them to attempt to keep them oriented toward salvation. We don't want anyone, much less our loved ones, to go to hell!
Of course, as Vost reminds us, if we are going to get on board with fraternal correction, we have to be prepared to receive some ourselves. 1 John 1:8 tells us, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves,” so it would be a mistake for any person to think they ought to approach fraternal correction from a place of superiority. Jesus rebukes this attitude, saying, “You
hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye” (Matt 7:5). If we hate sin, it necessarily means we hate all sin, including and especially our own. We must take on an attitude of humility and be willing and prepared to accept any fraternal correction with a heart and mind open to conversion. Likewise, if you are persisting in the same sin you are trying to correct in someone else, it will not go over well. While we are all sinners, and there is no expectation of perfection in fraternal correction, it is still advisable that before you try to clean up a particular room in someone else’s house, that same room in your house ought to be in order first.
Vost also notes how St. Thomas cites St. Augustine in regards to distinguishing between public and private fraternal correction. They assert that sins that only harm you or the person engaged in the sin ought to be addressed privately. However, when a person is involved in something that will hurt many people, like heresy or abortion, it is appropriate to correct the person publicly. That said, we want to be careful regarding people’s reputations because it is much harder to restore a good name once it’s been publicly associated with sin. Therefore, St. Augustine advises that before publicly admonishing the sins of a particular person, it should be preceded by a private correction to allow the person to change his or her heart and behavior. This is also an act of love for the sinner.
Vost then explains how the seven sacraments are each oriented toward hating sin while loving sinners.
Baptism: the means by which anyone can enter into God's family, and our baptismal promises call for a rejection of a sin.
Confirmation: we receive the Holy Spirit's gift of fortitude, which provides us with the spiritual strength required for fraternal correction.
Reconciliation: everyone has the opportunity for repentance and conversion, including ourselves, when others have corrected us.
Matrimony: spouses are obligated to help one another get to heaven, which involves spousal correction and a great deal of humility.
Anointing of the Sick: a remedy against sin that provides spiritual healing to the sinner regardless of being physically healed.
Eucharist: is a reminder “of the ultimate act of hating (and conquering) sin while dearly loving sinners.”
Holy Orders: the source of all sacraments as the priest acts in persona Christi (the person of Christ). By virtue of this sacrament, priests are called to speak out against sin, more than the laity, while leading sinners to the sacraments for healing and conversion.
This week, reflect on hating the sin while loving the sinner. How do you approach fraternal correction? Do an honest examination of yourself. If you are afraid to engage in it, pray for courage and strength. If you are often quick to engage in it, pray for prudence. If it is difficult for you to receive it, pray for humility. Given human nature, it will never be a perfectly delivered and perfectly received activity, but when good attempts are made and the Holy Spirit is involved, good things are possible.
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